Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Sunday, October 24, 2010

R.I.P. Daniel Heller

It appears that Phoenix Libertarian Examiner Dan Heller, or at least the Heller who was an intelligent commentator and a joy to read, died recently of circle-jerk related injuries.

The strongest evidence to date: an article entitled "Don’t be a jerk: Vote Libertarian or Don’t Vote at All"

I'll let it speak for itself first:
If you vote for increased taxes (or for the existence of taxes at all), you’re voting for strong, scary-looking men with badges and guns (who take their jobs way too seriously) to collect private property—through violent means—from your neighbor. That’s not cool, even if it’s for a “good cause” (i.e.; for whatever righteous redistributionist cause—probably involving children— you support).

If you vote to ban or prohibit a substance you don’t like (such as tobacco or alcohol or any other narcotic), you’re supporting the use of violence against other people because you think you know what’s best for them. Come on. Don’t be an jerk. Don’t use or endorse the use of violence because you think you know what’s best for other people. Instead, if you’re going to take a risk by voting, without being a jerk, vote with the Golden Rule in mind—vote unto others as you would have them vote unto you.

Would you walk to your next door neighbor’s house, point a gun at him and demand that he gives you some money because you don’t like his “immoral” habits, like smoking? Would you point a gun at your neighbor and demand that he pays you money so you can give it to some homeless children you think deserve it more than he does? Would you say, “Pay up, buddy! I need to buy your health insurance and create a retirement savings account for you. Do it now, or I pull the trigger!”

More than likely, no, you wouldn’t, because that’s sociopathic behavior. But why vote like a sociopath then? There’s no reason to. Just stay home. Open a bottle of wine. Relax.


Taxation is or sometimes can be similar to a shakedown. And a sink is or sometimes can be similar to a toilet. Nevertheless, if you really cannot tell the difference you are not welcome in most homes, including mine. And similarly the popularity of Heller's viewpoint--none of the ideas are new, and they were indeed quite old by the time I believed them as an 18-year-old punk--among the soi-disant "hard core" of the Libertarian Party explains why libertarians are in general unwelcome. It isn't quite shitting in the sink, but the sort of false moral clarity that has one telling people not to vote their conscience, and condemning all candidates and by extension the people who vote for them as engaging in sociopathic behavior is rude and antisocial--if not a signal of some kind of sociopathy!

Rather than tackle this ab initio I turn to one of the best respected libertarian philosophers of our time, Loren Lomasky, best known as the author of Persons, Rights, and the Moral Community. In "Libertarianism as if (the other 99% of) people mattered", an essay appearing in Social Philosophy and Policy 15 (e-mail me if you cannot find a copy--an essay containing the phrase "Libertarians ought not be required by their principles to lead geyserless lives" is almost certain to be fun):
If I have adopted the cooperationist rather than the rejectionist attitude toward the society in which I live, then I am thereby committed to acknowledging that although my fellow citizens' views concerning the ethics of taxation are, as I see it, mistaken, the perspective from which they adopt those views is not so unreasonable or so uncivil as to disqualify them from moral respect. ... It is, therefore, not only misleading but also an exercise in borderline incivility to equate taxation with theft, for if it is taken in its straightforward sense, that pronouncement denies the legitimacy of the social order and announces that I regard myself as authorized unilaterally to override its dictates as I would the depredations of the thief. It says to my neighbors that I regard them as, if not themselves thieves, then confederates or willing accomplices in thievery.


One is left to wonder why Heller neither drops out of society nor engages in war on his neighbors and colleagues. Moreover the equation of taxation with theft is a circular argument and a patently obvious one at that.

This isn't to say that there is no ethical component to voting. One is probably compelled by common decency to vote out of office recidivist violators of guaranteed liberties, such as Joe Arpaio, and we shun from polite company at least outright Sheriff Joe supporters. It is likewise for global warming denialists--all other things being equal, candidates who support policies that prevent us from fouling our shared nest receive the vote of moral people, and those who deliberately or negligently spread falsehoods--especially scientists who make silly arguments for ideological reasons--to enhance the short-term profits of the Koch brothers or merely because they think they are spiting Al Gore are shunned. "Not our kind, dear." It isn't war, but we don't simultaneously accuse people of being thieves and sociopaths or in league with thieves and sociopaths yet treat them as friends or welcome neighbors.

What makes this all the more amusing is the total falsehood of Heller's newfound moral clarity. Every serious libertarian thinker recognized far more subtlety to these questions--to choose two "accessible" examples, Friedman and Hayek both supported guaranteed minimum incomes for very solidly classical-liberal reasons. If it wasn't done before, Nozick in Anarchy, State, and Utopia made the equation of liberty with a lack of coercion intellectually off-limits: the arguments against it substitute for true rebuttal a merely more strident repetition of the old Spooner/Rand/Rothbard position.

By now I'm boring my readers. Let me just finish up by saying that to date I have been able to find force (Oh no, force!!!!!!) in the positions held by every "libertarian" who like Heller categorically condemns force and condemns all who do not vote as he would like for being supporters of force. So yes, your moral clarity is fake. And yours too. And, when I'm guilty of it, mine.

For reasons I might get to, at least a few third-party candidates receive my personal endorsement this season, at the very least: Libertarians Joe Cobb and Thane Eichenauer, independent Ted Downing, and, with reservations, Libertarians Nick Coons and Steve Stoltz. Rick Fowlkes would get my endorsement, too, but he's not on the ballot. And for now the link to Heller will remain. His back-catalog--before what must have been a blow to the head (perhaps from a Rothbard book?) had him repeating 1970s cliches in his columns and, we see, unable to distinguish the sink and the toilet--is interesting and his recent output cannot detract from it. Moreover we can expect false moral clarity to be a mere phase he's going through. It happens to most self-identifying "libertarians" and the more intelligent ones get over it eventually.

Friday, June 25, 2010

SB 1070: The worst that could happen.



Also see the film of the same name. Sheriff Joe's goons actually did this to some kids in the Phoenix area earlier this decade, and it wasn't funny. I can't remember their names or how to find it quickly at this point. Eleanor Eisenberg would know.

No, I don't think this is likely, but it seems to be what the wild imaginations of e.g. Raul Grijalva, Kyrsten Sinema, and Phil Gordon have thought SB 1070 to be. More on that later.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Glassman aims for the Senate.

Back when Rodney Glassman was first seeking public office, I remarked that he was an overgrown fratboy, a trustafarian dandy with a sense of entitlement big enough to get him kicked out of Carol West's office, and doubted his capability to be an effective City Councilman. (Follow the keyword link at the bottom of the page for some colorful information, or just search Tucsonweekly.com for "Glassman" and "get out of town".) To my surprise--and pleasantly, as I don't like seeing people screw up--he grew in to the position quickly. Those who pay attention to the City Council know that he's actually been the voice of good sense more often than not.

By now, his resignation from office in order to run for the U.S. Senate is old news. Do I think he's ready? Is anybody ready for the Senate? Is this an endorsement? No, but it's an update. And for the record, I think Lori Oien would make a great Councilwoman, the same as I did when she first ran for the seat.

My unsolicited advice for Glassman:
  1. Lose the smirk. Learn to smile like a man.
  2. Don't do it. Resignation is irrevocable, but it gives you the chance to go do something with your life. "(1) Trustafarian Grijalva flunky and (2) City Councilman" is a shoddy resumé. Add a science or engineering degree to that list of credentials and actually make or build something. Or go into business for yourself in something nontechnical and find out how the private sector works for those who create and don't merely inherit wealth. Before his stint on the Phoenix City Council, Barry Goldwater had experience as a military officer and with the day-to-day direction of a private firm. One that he inherited a stake in, yes, but that did not prevent him from learning how wealth is created, how free-market capitalism benefits the little guy, and how to sympathize meaningfully with those who are trying to get a leg up in this world. If the Democratic Party has a serious cultural shortcoming beyond its willful ignorance of free-market solutions to modern problems such as what is (not was, still is) wrong with health care and health insurance, it is this lack of appreciation for the entrepreneur. One cannot divide the U.S.A. almost literally into classes, into "haves" and "have nots", into "the rich" and "the poor", each with de facto different legal status, one as the permanent recipient of transfers and the end in himself and the other as the permanent source of transfers and a means to an end, and at the same time respect the entrepreneur. Come out and scramble like the rest of us, and it'll make you better than the average Democrat.
  3. Krugman's popular work, especially for the New York Times, is shameful trash. Krugman the scholar is worthwhile reading. Dive in. And read some Hayek while you're at it for background. I'm serious.
  4. Attend a few Tea Party rallies. Just hold your nose and do it. Get outside your comfort zone and learn something about Americans' values.
  5. Let yourself be photographed with a shouldered AR-15. It'll save you a lot of trouble.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Comically bad headline writing.

Thinking back to Thane's last post, I just saw the following on a newspaper rack:

Epic blizzards renew assault on East Coast.

Mixed metaphor fail. Will someone please explain to me why Tucson's better paper got stuck with the afternoon slot (sure death in today's market)?

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Martel writes Grijalva...

Martel Firing of the "Odd Citizen" 'blog sent a letter to Rep. Grijalva. It begins:
You’re acting like a push-over. Look, Ben Nelson and Mary Lanerieu got lots of boodle for their districts...
Read the whole thing. Best humor I've seen in the blogosphere in months!

Thursday, December 03, 2009

How I spent the morning of November 22.

I made it into the newspaper police blotter for the morning of November 22:
Football fan battles bicycle to lose his blues

UAPD officers were dispatched to the Arizona-Sonora Residence Hall on Nov. 22 at approximately 4:20 a.m. in reference to a report of two unidentified men kicking and jumping on a bicycle near the northeast corner of the residence hall. En route, officers observed two men matching the descriptions given by the man who reported the incident. Officers made contact with the two men and detected the strong odor of intoxicants coming from both of them. The men stated that they were on their way to the Villa Del Puente Residence Hall from the Coronado Residence Hall. When asked about the report, both men denied being near any bicycles or bicycle racks at any point during the evening.

At that point, the man who reported the incident arrived on scene. He identified the two men as the same men he had seen jumping on a bicycle in front of Arizona-Sonora. Officers asked the men if they had been drinking and both men admitted that they had. One of the men further admitted that he had been upset because of the football team’s loss to Oregon and had taken his frustration out on a random bicycle. He further stated that his friend had not participated in the event. The man then led police to the area where the damaged bicycle was located. Officers observed that the rear fender was severely damaged. Officers cited the man on charges of minor with spirituous liquor in the body and criminal damage. His friend was cited on charges of minor with spirituous liquor in the body. Both men were released on scene.


Of the three mans in that article, you can probably guess which one I was. I thought it'd be better to follow them and identify them to police--cell phones are fun!--than to tell them to knock it off. That way, the owner of the bicycle could identify them and sue for damages.

Charles Murray is right: we should not use a college degree as a signal for all that we use it for in our society. It is no longer a proxy for middle-class values--not clear to my Chicagoan working-class-origin self that it ever was--nor is it a near-sufficient indicator of good sense. It's stupid enough to be angry about a loss in a sporting match--especially if you weren't one of the players!--but to be angry eight hours later and to let the anger drive you to kick and jump on a bicycle, that's just plane ridiculous. It's too bad the paper didn't release the culprit's name for future employers to Google.

I'm pleased to see that one of them confessed; I couldn't say for sure whether it was one or both of them who was damaging the bicycle.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

One for the Warden File

Good old Roy Warden:

TPD's MO has traditionally been to arrest him a couple days later. I can't believe the city court can't find a way to get these cases over. I can't believe Ron Zack can't find a way off the case.


> Reply-To:
> From: "ROY WARDEN"
> To: "ROBERT GAFFNEY" ,
> "RONALD ZACK"
> Subject: FW: GAFFNEY RE TRO ORDER.doc
> Date: Fri, 25 Sep 2009 15:58:07 -0700
>
>
>
> From: ROY WARDEN [mailto:roywarden1@netzero.net]
> Sent: Friday, September 25, 2009 3:40 PM
> To: 'roywarden1@netzero.net'
> Subject: RE: GAFFNEY RE TRO ORDER.doc
>
> I just re-read my commentary to you.
>
> Please don’t take it as a reflection on your services performed to date. Simply speaking; every time they have to provide me with an attorney for some alleged violation the story gets bigger. Now, I have three court appointed attorneys working on Roy Warden Cases. Maybe when they employ ½ the lawyers in town to provide for my defense their resources will be stretched too thin and they’ll stop arresting and prosecuting me.
>
> Sort of a scorched earth war of attrition, a common enough strategy don’t you think?
>
> From: ROY WARDEN [mailto:roywarden1@netzero.net]
> Sent: Friday, September 25, 2009 12:31 PM
> To: 'Robert Gaffney'
> Subject: RE: GAFFNEY RE TRO ORDER.doc
>
> Thanks Mr. Gaffney:
>
> Within the last two hours I re-violated the 1,000 feet order and burned two Mexican Flags in front of the Pima County Courthouse, the Brown Berets, 100 assorted protestors/counter protestors, 50 or more sheriff deputies and TPD officers, etc.
>
> If they arrest me, please make them get another lawyer, unless you REALLY, REALLY want to spend significant time litigating the constitutional issues.
>
> From: Robert Gaffney [REDACTED--BSK]
> Sent: Friday, September 25, 2009 12:15 PM
> To: roywarden1@netzero.net
> Subject: Re: GAFFNEY RE TRO ORDER.doc
>
> Attached, please find the court's orders re: not going within 1000 feet of 33 N. Stone or going to the Library, etc. If you need anything else, let me know.
>
> Bob Gaffney
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: "ROY WARDEN"
> Sent 9/22/2009 5:25:20 PM
> To: "'Robert Gaffney'"
> Subject: RE: GAFFNEY RE TRO ORDER.doc
> Scan and email it. It can be an attached file. Thanks!!
>
> From: Robert Gaffney [REDACTED--BSK]
> Sent: Tuesday, September 22, 2009 5:23 PM
> To: roywarden1@netzero.net
> Subject: Re: GAFFNEY RE TRO ORDER.doc
>
> I am now able to send you the court order prohibiting you from going within 1000 feet of 33 N. Stone. Do you want me to fax it to you or scan and email. Let me know. If you want a fax, give me your fax number.
>
> Bob Gaffney
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: "ROY WARDEN"
> Sent 9/16/2009 5:04:22 PM
> To: "'Robert Gaffney'"
> Subject: RE: GAFFNEY RE TRO ORDER.doc
>
> Thanks Robert. Unfortunately the City Court has a 1 week delay in getting the file. So, we’ll just have to do the best we can…
>
> From: Robert Gaffney [REDACTED--BSK]
> Sent: Wednesday, September 16, 2009 3:46 PM
> To: roywarden1@netzero.net
> Subject: Re: GAFFNEY RE TRO ORDER.doc
>
> I am out of the State right now and won't return until next week. I'll get it to you as soon as possible. If you need it sooner, you can get copies from your file in Tucson City Court.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: "ROY WARDEN"
> Sent 9/16/2009 10:20:49 AM
> To: "ROBERT GAFFNEY"
> Subject: GAFFNEY RE TRO ORDER.doc
>
>
> []
>
> September 16, 2009
>
> Robert Gaffney
> Attorney at Law
>
> Re: Arizona v Warden
>
> Dear Mr. Gaffney:
>
> I am about to undertake a course of action which will impact our case(s) and your representation, I hope in a positive way.
>
> In spite of the various orders against me, over the past several months I’ve participated in and spoken at a series of political rallies associated with Smart Girl Politics, the Tucson Tea Party, Anti OmamaCare, etc., all without response from the Tucson Police Department.
>
> I am now organizing a Counter Protest rally for 9 am Friday September 25, 2009 in front of the Pima County Superior Courthouse, where various groups will gather in opposition to the Brown Berets, a militant, “Pro Raza” activist group promulgating, among other things, a racist, open border viewpoint.
>
> At this point I intend to speak out against Pima County Open Border Policy, the Tucson City and Pima County Superior Court judges who have protected such policy, and to Burn a Mexican Flag. Of course this activity will (1) piss off the local judges and (2) directly put me in violation of several Municipal Court orders prohibiting my political speech, which I contend, are beyond the jurisdiction of the Court to issue.
>
> Prior to the event I plan to move the federal court for a TRO enjoining the Tucson Police Department from interfering with my activity. Since I’ve never done one before I presume I will have significant research to do, etc.
>
> As an exhibit I need a copy of whatever paperwork you now have which proves there is currently an Order of the Court which prohibits me from coming within 1,000 feet of the corner of Pennington and Stone, or whatever it says, and the fact that I am now being prosecuted for being in violation of such order.
>
> Would you be so kind as to scan in whatever material you now have and email it to me? You shouldn’t need any more than a page or two.
>
> Thank you for your help!
>
> Roy Warden
>
> CC Ronald Zack


A few remarks:
  1. No, I did not receive this from Bob Gaffney.
  2. Warden's actually relatively well-behaved. He's known for turning on his counsel (and sabotaging his own case) at the slightest provocation.
  3. An indigent with no visible means of support, Warden actually, briefly, had ACLU as counsel a few years ago, and has since then made use of services of the public defender's office.
  4. He's back on Nutzero Netzero. Back in 2005, he was banned. I wonder if he slipped under the radar. I'm terribly busy but should send them an e-mail.
  5. Warden may have a legitimate civil liberties complaint--centered on what to my non-lawyerly eyes is a very interesting question--but the chances of him doing what needs to be done for relief are slim.
  6. Characters like this are very common in Southern Arizona politics and public life. Two of them--Joe Sweeney and Russ Dove--have run for Congress, Sweeney as a major party nominee. Lumping Dove in with those two is probably not fair, either, as he reputedly earns a living.
  7. The Left and the libertarians both have their share of nuts down here, too, but none whose antics are this protracted, or who are this loud.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Raise "tuition" without raising tuition--just don't mention the acetaldehyde

Actually, now that I think about it, if the acetaldehyde is mentioned it'll be lost on the victims of my scheme, anyway.

The Desert Lamp has resumed, perhaps with the application of a bit of tequila to the flickering wick; among the several topics covered are colored beer cans.

Evan Lisull's most recent post discusses a Federal Trade Commission objection to, of all things, colored beer cans. Anheuser Busch/InBev has been packaging Bud Light in cans with color schemes matching those of the U.S.'s biggest party schools state megauniversities.

The FTC and many colleges have objected, claiming that this may somehow encourage more underage drinking to take place--as though an 18 year old will think harder before he has the regular Bud Light than the one in University of Arizona blue and red--and might be construed as University endorsement of the product. The University of Arizona has been silent on the matter.

They should embrace it and even go one farther: license the "A" logo or the silly Wildcat thing, and charge a per-can royalty.

I'm guessing that the Bud Light drinkers, especially the ones who'd be more inclined to drink it because of the logo, overlap considerably with those who moan--and hop buses to the Capitol en masse to moan--about tuition fee increases (how dare they charge me more for this private good?) even as the State faces extreme shortfalls. I'm fairly certain they're also the ones who shout "ow!" at random on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights, who blast stereos from their cars, who pile five at a time into trucks and harass pedestrians, and who generally lower both the University's prestige and, more importantly, the quiet enjoyment of the neighborhood by others.

Bud Light licensing, like a surcharge for the most obnoxious students. Fair enough, right?

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Another good resource, and a writing opportunity for readers.

Examiner.com is fast becoming one of the best sources of participatory journalism and commentary on the Web. Chances are you've already been directed to an article or two on the site via Google News. Its writers are paid, but usually have day jobs and are often writing in areas of personal expertise.

Among Arizonan political writers on Examiner, Phoenix Libertarian Examiner Daniel Heller hasn't been writing long, but is showing himself to be a capable and interesting commentator from the modern-classical-liberal or libertarian perspective. I'd add him to the 'blogroll but Blogger.com can't pick up a proper feed from the Examiner, so he's in the link list instead.

To readers who might want to start writing on the Web: Examiner pays, and given that it's a bit more formal than Associated Content, it probably pays considerably more. (For the curious: I've made from this 'blog roughly enough to buy lunch at Subway. Reviewing glue, household appliances, and tasty beverages on Epinions.com pays my internet related bills in a good month. This is a hobby and not a living!) Currently they are soliciting writers in Phoenix and Tucson, with Tucson a bit more wide-open. Scanning the Tucson availabilities potentially of interest to readers, I find:
Arizona Statehouse Examiner
Arizona Policy Examiner
Tucson Economic Policy Examiner
Tucson Fiscal Responsibility Examiner
Tucson Government Examiner
Tucson Nonpartisan Examiner
Tucson Independent Examiner
Tucson Political Buzz Examiner
Tucson Pollution Examiner
Tucson Public Policy Examiner
Tucson Ethnic Restaurants Examiner
Tucson Eco-Travel Examiner.

I'm sure that Tucson Barista Examiner appeals to some of you single guys, too. (I'm not making that one up!) At the very least, it will make for a good pickup line. I can't find an equivalent category for the ladies. Maybe Tucson Single Men Examiner? There are also some wacky ones: "Tucson Cuddle Party Examiner", "Tucson Zombie Examiner", "Tucson Sidewinders Examiner", "Tucson Support Groups Examiner", "Tucson Suicide Examiner".

On an unrelated note, Radley Balko's The Agitator has been added to the bottom 'blog feed.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Best Arizona-related Wikipedia entry

From Interstate 10 in Arizona:
The section of Miracle Mile West stretching between Miracle Mile and the Southern Pacific overpass was signed as Business Loop 10, State Route 84A and State Route 93 in the 1960s. It is now marked as the southern leg on State Route 77, the new designation for US 80-89 north out of Tucson. The Business Loop was dropped in 1998, as many of the business entrepreneurs in the area were practicing a very-old roadside business indeed.


Those last sixteen words violate at least three Wikipedia policies. I could "fix" it. I won't. And as far as I know--not firsthand!--"business" goes on as usual.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Eegee's, Desert Museum, Tucson Citizen are undemocratic!

Going past Eegee's this morning, I saw that the flavor of the month is "Lucky Lime." Yuck! Bright slime-green--the color of Ecto Cooler--artificial citrusesque sugar water. Not nearly as good as their natural flavors. Don't those of us who occasionally depend on these chilly colloidal empty calories to prevent sublimation deserve a vote in the matter? Eegee's is un-democratic!

And I have a gripe with the Desert Museum, too. Their cougar exhibit is totally unrealistic. Their natural habitat--Scottsdale--has palm trees, wisteria, and In-and-Out Burger. And I think that the museum could make more money from ticket sales if the javelina pen were to be combined with the snake, cat, and wolf exhibits. And I'm sure I can find a few thousand Fox Network watchers who agree. Why can't we put it to a vote? The Desert Museum is undemocratic!

And the Tucson Citizen is undemocratic. They don't call me when they're getting ready to write an editorial, nor do they put their contents to a vote. Chrissakes, they're the Tucson Citizen, just like me!--I deserve a vote in the matter. Thoroughly undemocratic, that I can't get together a petition to fire whoever wrote Monday's editorial. Whoever it was doesn't seem to even understand the rationale behind vouchers. "Market failure?"--what's that. And he calls them "undemocratic" as though that's an insight. Criticizing something by calling it undemocratic is a sure sign of thoughtlessness, and possibly of ignorance or low intelligence. That private schools are undemocratic is the point of the program! The idea is to allow parents who are being poorly served by democratically run schools to put them in schools run by self-perpetuating boards of directors or trustees, and to mitigate the crowd-out and double-payments problem by which the mere existence of public schools causes the education market to fail. The writer didn't research the matter enough to learn why proponents support what they do, and ought be cut from the payroll. Let's get together and vote on it.

We can't do that? Then you're undemocratic! Someone do something! Teacher! Mommy!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Driving while male is unlawful in Arizona

Over on the Brown and Little law firm 'blog, Matt Brown remarks that according to ARS 28-1381, one can be driving under the influence without being impaired, simply by having any drug defined in ARS 13-3401 or its metabolites in one's body.

ARS 13-3401 is a guide to searching Wikipedia for designer drugs and perhaps half the syllabus for a nontraditional course in pharmacology. Name a hallucinogen, narcotic, or controlled stimulant or depressant, and you'll find it listed.

Included are a number of prescription drugs which may or may not produce impairment depending on the dosage, including Valium and several of the more common muscle relaxants, and some that produce no impairment at all, such as Ritalin, scopolamine (administered transdermally as an anti-emetic) and most anti-narcolepsy drugs, without which some drivers will find themselves impaired. There's quite the list of amphetamines, some of which are commonly given to Air Force pilots to keep them alert on very long missions.

And then there is that pharmacologically valuable but illegal substance, cannabis, very curiously classified as a narcotic. Under normal use does not impair the motorist, hence the original post. Its inclusion presents problems for users of legal Marinol, an anti-emetic inhaler, as its active constituent is a purified cannabis derivative. By spliff or by inhaler, the metabolites are indistinguishable.

But most problematic are twenty-three "anabolic steroids", classified as "dangerous drugs". Many are endogenous or have endogenous metabolites. Some are common medications for very serious conditions: oxandrolone is a treatment for osteoporosis and HIV-related weight loss, and testolactone is a very valuable chemotherapeutic agent against breast cancer. None conceivably produce impairment, but my "significant other" as they say might remark that testosterone impairs judgement. That's right, testosterone is on the list. It's in your body and mine--whether you're male or female--along with its metabolites. Thus according to ARS 28-1381, we're all driving under the influence.

In Arizona, if you're being treated for ADHD, ADD, narcolepsy, hyperemesis (including that induced by cancer chemotherapy), some forms of breast cancer, or HIV-related weight loss, you're driving under the influence. But you're not alone: all men, and any woman who hasn't had a hysterectomy, also run afoul of the law. It's simply unlawful to drive in Arizona.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Why the University of Arizona cuts make sense

Being an ABD grad student I'm a little "bothered", so to speak, by the prospect of mandatory furloughs. The "deferred compensation" alternative presented by Ted Downing--who I miss having in the legislature--seems more sensible, but at the very least the policy could have been distributed differently between higher-paid employees, departmental staff, junior faculty, and grad students. The high-paid employees can take the hit, University departments are already running on skeleton crews and can't afford to have staffers taking days off, and five days' income is so much for junior faculty and grad students that it's sure to hurt morale. (Both will come to work anyway.) ASU has taken this into account. U of A charged forward clumsily.

Then again, the details haven't yet been sent to us, so maybe the plan isn't set in stone.

But that aside, the cuts make sense. University of Arizona President Robert Shelton sent an e-mail early last week presenting them in brief. To quote:
We will also be forced to eliminate or greatly reduce many of our outreach and community-based activities. This will result in:
a.. The suspension of three-quarters of University funding for UApresents.
b.. The current Flandrau Science Center facility, Planetarium and UA Mineral Museum will be closed to school groups and the public later this spring.
c.. The Arizona State Museum will be open to the public fewer days per week, and many outreach and educational activities, including public events, will be cancelled later this spring.
d.. The UA Museum of Art will be open fewer days per week, and will eliminate its engagement in university-level education as well as educational outreach.
e.. A significant portion of the UA's outreach and extension operations across the state will be suspended.
The new partnership creating the Colleges of Letters and Science allows us to reduce the number of academic colleges from 16 to 13, and we have previously announced the closing of University College, the functions of which are being absorbed in the new Colleges of Letters and Science.


Letters and Sciences makes sense from an intellectual perspective, although some toes will surely be stepped on. But as for (a) through (d): why were these things paid for by the State, anyway? To fund museums, UA Presents, etc--highbrow stuff, all--with the taxpayer dime is simple exploitation. It's the worst kind, too: literate sorts who prefer the Academy of St. Martin in the Fields to AC/DC can put together pretty-sounding albeit half-baked arguments for subsidizing their entertainment with far more skill than the AC/DC fan can bring to bear in telling them to go fuck themeselves. It isn't a fair fight. (Full disclosure: your narrator owns a copy of Back in Black but usually prefers Sir Neville Marriner's chamber orchestra.) Back at Tulane the classical-music concerts didn't come out of our tuition fee, but were financed by ticket sales--usually free or a small peppercorn for students--and donors in the community who valued the arts.

It should be that way at the University of Arizona, too, and this is the correct way to make it so. Did you know that UA Presents was subsidized? Neither did I. (Isn't government funding of colleges and universities insidious?) Now I do, and now I know the subsidy has gone away. And I'll pay more for the ticket, and perhaps start paying a fee to drop in at the museum. And some high-minded businessman who does think that artsy stuff should be more affordable than a Rolling Stones concert or a day at the ballpark (it is, but it's less popular anyway) or who wants to be a patron of the arts will make a donation or even establish an endowment. Bread-and-circuses stuff has the public's immediate interest and attention. Elimination of a support staff position in the Department of Transgendered Jewish Chicano Studies does not.

I suspect that the set of moaners and the set of donors will be largely exclusive. Belief that everything good is the government's responsibility pretty much absolves one of any duty to support anything privately. We're far more likely to see Jim Click's name on a plaque in the Arizona State Museum than we are to see the establishment of a Paula Aboud Chair for Study of the American Political Tradition. I will, however, contribute the dollar equivalent of 19.68 euros if that last one ever happens.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

"Consent search" en español

One would think a good translator would be easy to find in Arizona, but word is that the Spanish-language version of the new consent-search form read something like "With my permission, you will search my car" without it being clear that one could withhold consent.

Sounds like a laughing matter, but word is also that evidence ended up being suppressed in a few cases because of this. (And no, I will not name my early-career defense-lawyer source!) It makes one wonder if a bad translator was hired to save money or if translations are a "brother-in-law job" in Arizona.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Scanning the headlines.

In yesterday's Arizona Daily Star: Having left her mark on state, 'Janet' departs.

Is it just me, or does that evoke a dog lifting its leg at the neighborhood tree? Runs up a defecit for which she's at least half culpable, then trots off.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Something tells me I'd get along swimmingly with the East Valley Tribune editorial board.

Now that is an uncanny amount of overlap. Unlike Indie Rock Pete I'm happy to see that someone sees it my way, although it is a strange feeling.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

The Friday Morning Phone Call

Friday, circa 9 AM, around the time I should be prying myself out of bed with a crowbar and getting to the lab (I tend to work into the evening), the phone rings.

"Hello, to whom am I speaking?", says the caller, and I reply:
"If you don't at least have a good guess, perhaps you shouldn't be calling this number."

Buzzz....click! He hangs up.

Ten minutes later, as I'm about to jump into the shower, it rings again.

"Hi, is this Bennett?", says someone sounding roughly the same as the first caller, timidly.

"Yes, what can I do for you?"

"You're the guy who wrote the letter in the Weekly (fourth item on the page) suggesting we call Tim Bee's campaign if we got stuck east of Swan."

"Yes. I have nothing to do with the Bee campaign, but I thought people should let them know how they feel."

"Oh. So you set them up, then."

"Yes."

"That's hilarious. I couldn't get home, and I was very upset, so I saw your letter and I called them up. The lady who answered gave me your number. I asked what it was for, then she screamed it at me again and hung up."


Take-away messages:
(1) I got under Tim Bee's staff's skin. Whether or not he got the point, I don't know. I'm still not going to vote for the pendejo until I get a check, and now, an apology.
(2) The Tucson Weekly staff may not always be classy (remember Tim Vanderpool's hit on Michael Badnarik?) but someone down there has a sense of humor.
(3) Tim Bee's staff is not above behavior verging legally on harassment. My number is publicly listed, yes, but I am not the person who can answer questions about your refund.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Why being an ideologue makes one stupid.

Czechvar, aka "Budweiser Budvar", is an above-average lager, produced by a state-owned enterprise.

Likewise, Arizona Highways is produced by the state Department of Transportation, and is one of the better travel magazines.

As Emerson wrote, a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Check our legislators' alibis.

As regular readers of this irregularly updated 'blog know, I take a dim view of the antics of Russell Pearce, Don Goldwater, and their type. Instead of debunking economic fallacies and promoting high-minded morals, they bring out the worst in Arizonans, enhancing the irrational hatred of the Mexican and turning spite into rage. Unless Congress moves to fix the problem, we're going to see a Vincent Chin incident, with blame lying as much with men (and I use the term loosely) like Pearce as with the perpetrator.

The rage felt over Mexican immigration--it's always about "ILLEGALS" but the truth comes out between the lines--is difficult to understand, and naturally so, as it's irrational. (Have you noticed the patchy, shifting, post-hoc nature of the justifications given?) To get a sense of how crazy it is, consider the following Seattle-area incident, which trumps the bizzare anger over pressing two for Spanish or having to suffer through hearing other people have conversations in a foreign tongue.:


Well, let's look at it this way: At least, this guy wasn't buying a blowtorch.

But that age-old adage that patience is a virtue somehow slipped the mind of a man shopping at The Home Depot on Utah Avenue South in Seattle on Thursday.

Around 9 p.m., the man was in line at a self-service checkout stand, ready to buy a pry bar and a hacksaw, according to a Seattle police report.

But, as a manager told an officer, the man accidentally hit the button on the computer screen for Spanish.

That was the tipping point for this consumer.

He became "frustrated that the machine was speaking Spanish," the police report says.

So, instead of asking for help, he let loose a blow with the pry bar and shattered the computer. He ran from the store and made a beeline to some railroad tracks, the report said.

A Seattle police officer searched for the man, but didn't find him.

The manager believes he caused about $10,000 in damage. He left the pry bar in his shopping cart.


Does anyone know the whereabouts of Russ Dove or Roy Warden that day? Check the security tape. Does the perp resemble Mr. Pearce?

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Scanning the headlines...

From yesterday's Star:
125 here are hit by 'Ponzi scheme'

Of the roughly half-million retirees in the Tucson metro area, only 125 are saying "I paid 15% of my income to the Social Security system for fifty years, and this is what I get?"

(Real update--about ballot initiatives--to follow soon!)